912: Internet down while visiting parents
913: Another math test anxiety dream, naked this time
914: Pet hamster missing, cat not hungry
915: Ex has recurring role in formerly favorite TV series
916: Enormous spider in shower
917: Premature hair loss, commented on by acquaintance
918: House guest brought winter clothes in summer for stay of indefinite length
919: Text of intimate nature inadvertently sent to tax preparer
920: Considering moving to Oshkosh, WI (920 area code)
921: Therapist retiring
922: Not recognized at college reunion by former roommate
923: Bongo enthusiast moved in next door
924: Cat seems embarrassed by your presence
925: Forgot Valentine’s Day, third time
926: Forgotten on Valentine’s Day, fourth time
927: Learned whether phone is toilet waterproof
928: Gift you gave comes full circle back to you, with stops along the way
929: Sex partner yawned during
930: Parent tried to educate you about “the vast conspiracy”
931: Body-shamed by almost everyone at gym, unintentionally
932: Microwave died after purchase of one gross of Hot Pockets
933: Grieving more over microwave than over recently deceased aunt
934: Considering law school
935: Adorable, sad puppy stares at you through rain-streaked window
936: Left phone at home, or friend’s house, or gym, or God-knows-where
937: Internet still down while visiting parents, three feet of snow forecast