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How will you endure the ancient ritual of the Office Birthday—standing motionless while colleagues sing at you and maintain eye contact?
NASA is almost certain that none of you are werewolves. However, to ensure the safety of our new lunar missions, we must consider every eventuality.
If you do go out, you’ll immediately start thinking about when you can leave. If you don’t go out, you’ll immediately start wishing you had.
Who’s a good boy? Who’s a precious lil pup? Yes you are! Yes you are! Hmm, oh, yes, Mark, hello. Sorry, I was just saying hi to your dog Pepper.
Call me desensitized, but the only thing that really keeps me tapped in for My Favorite Celebrity is to see them risk it all—day after day, for months on end.
I urgently need your help after my latest extravagant shindig has left my estate in shambles. Look here, old sports.
"Existential Risk": You testified before Congress that this technology could end humanity. You also had a product launch that Thursday and it went great.
What makes the spills so frequent, the meets so cute? Is it the cheap, lopsided mugs?
What, because I talk funny? Because I called your saloon a coworking pod? Because I palo santoed your game of Texas hold ‘em?
“Oh. Well, I could try to grow a beard?” the Beast offers. “It’s just that it usually comes in kind of patchy."
Let’s call it a reverse Turing Test designed to plumb the depths of human stupidity.
Hot Foods in the Wintertime or Cold Foods in the Summertime: This one’s a real bummer.