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If I can find the scissors and cut open all seventy-three of these packets, I might almost have enough stale soy sauce for one stir fry serving.
There is evidence that Festerman did correct people on the Gandhi misattribution but there is no evidence he actually felt better about himself.
I want you to unzip that undersized bag of dried sweet potato jerky and peel it apart... Use your teeth baby, too stale?
This year's most-voted-for reader faves include humor about Satan, the moon landing, and... awkward silences.
10:24 P.M.: Has that older dude with frosted tips requested “Every Morning” yet? He always does.
I cannot abide the vulgar shoptalk of striving strangers who demand to know, “Where do you find your inspiration?”
Bleu De Gex: Known for its blue veins, it is aged for three weeks with Penicillium roqueforti, and cannot be legally sold in the continental United States.
It’s been a few weeks now and you won’t stop looking at me in contempt. Every time you open your wallet and see me, you scoff.
Now there’s only 12 hours, 53 minutes, and 16 seconds left! Can’t you feel the gravity of this situation? Better get that CVV number quick!
Then, as if predestined by God himself, I walked into the bathroom at 3:45 PM and there you were: my new best friend.
Our "Best of 2025" picks feature party planners, new chess pieces, sewer dwellers, Kyle Energy, and more!
One photo of Jalen Hurts missing a three-foot putt on the practice green or Lane Johnson’s AOL screen name from 2007 can be enough to set you up for months.