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You have six-pack abs? I have six-dollar abs. It’s six dollar bills.
The Gig options are: package deliverer, meal deliverer, startup online pharmacy deliverer, driver, and graphic designer (Masters’ Degree preferred).
Dad: The town’s richest family used to own that. Now, everyone goes to Wally-Mart... Me: You have like, 17 pants from Walmart.
We, the authors (your neighborhood walking group), are hopeful that an analysis of our findings will lead you to finally shut the fuck up about this.
Kyle and Derek began training me on all subject matters of the world like philosophy and what Derek would refer to as “dank-ass internet shitposts.”
It was not I who called her “a useless swath of dogshit,” it was, in fact, Chicago crime lord Tony Ligitano.
I actually picked up the guitar during the pandemic and learned how to play, you guessed it, Wonderwall. I could show you now, if you had a second.
O’ empty day in the bore of my classroom. Today Miss Woolley asked me to remove my hat, and I reminded her that I will wear it as I please.
I’m going to take a beer. Man. Beeeeautiful. Nothing like a nice day– Flip that. That’s done. It’s burnt.
Hereclitus’ principle of unity in opposites can best be illustrated by the Toyota Sienna.
I don’t know if they teach conflict resolution in that school of yours these days, but I sure could use some relationship advice.
If you are offered a chance to suckle at the teat of the eldest Keebler elf, I pray you heed my warning.