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Pray especially for those of us who have screamed "SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO MEDITATE" at our children.
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
This constituent definitely knows what she's talking about and in no way just copy-pasted talking points from an out-of-date email forward!
I didn’t go to Tisch so I could buy cocaine for a lemur. Plus, lemurs need three times as much snow to get going.
From what Eric told me before his cell phone cut out, these bottles are entirely worth the extra eight months of R&D.
This new hire, a human-in-training or “cute smushy baby," has been rude, selfish, and has made zero meaningful contributions to the company.
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
Subsidies of children in wells: Kids aren’t placing themselves in imminent danger far from the attention of their parents/guardians anymore.
What do we do with all the identities people pay with? That’s none of your business. They were handed over in a totally legitimate transaction.
Bob Vila: Nazi Hunter: Bob Vila is back, but he’s done fixing old houses; he’s fixing the errors of the Nuremberg trials.
My kids like the Beatles. How am I supposed to criticize them for their garbage taste if they are also brought to tears by "Happiness is a Warm Gun?"
New arrivals to Limbo will receive brand-new iPhones that only show Instagram posts from people who have ascended to Heaven.