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Always Be Conscious of your employee’s emotional state before saying anything that might be construed as offensive or unnecessarily ruthless.
A black olive is a pipe dream and an avocado would sooner appear in a lasagna than in this salad.
Bear from "Bear in the Big Blue House" Is a Landlord: He has converted his Big Blue House into nine tiny, poorly ventilated studio apartments.
Little did I know then that I would soon join the ranks of those with no hope of escaping or being opened even in the slightest manner.
Shoes off, coat off, valuables off before entering the performance area, if you please, sir. We're not like other improv troupes, you know.
As a chair on stage, they’re not expecting me to go there. They’re also not expecting me to be the one making the jokes.
Error: Place all scanned items in the bagging area, even the 50-pound bag of dog food. Figure it out. The rules of our game have been made very clear.
Four hours into this will have you wishing you traded in the hallucinogenics for something with a little more parmesan and a little less cow dung.
I know we’ve only got a few hundred words to work with. Surely, though, it wouldn’t take much to give me a bit more personality.
Original: Columbus routinely captured the people living there as slaves. Corrected: Columbus brought Western values to the New World.
I’m Donny Doublethink. I’m the wise guy who always holds two opposite and completely contradictory opinions at the same time.
I don’t think I’m selling myself short here. It takes a lot of skill to stack this many hats on top of each other.