• Is blockchain a video game?
  • Is blockchain a podcast?
  • Is blockchain when you finally convince your uncle to stop forwarding emails about Seth Rich’s death?
  • Is blockchain a font?
  • Is blockchain a new rapper I’m too old to know?
  • Is blockchain an old rapper I’m too young to know?
  • Is blockchain when two people are walking towards each other and each expects the other to move, but neither of them do, so they both end up swerving too late in the same direction?
  • Is blockchain a prison haircut?
  • Is blockchain when Anthony Davis makes back-to-back rejections?
  • Is blockchain bitcoin? It’s bitcoin, isn’t it?
  • Is blockchain when you shut down someone’s idea in a meeting and then later they do the same to you and you’re like, “that’s fair.”
  • Is blockchain a Kanye thing?
  • Is blockchain a Russia thing?
  • Is blockchain a thing I need to worry about?
  • Is blockchain when you’re at a party and everyone is riffing off each other’s witty banter so you join in, but your joke falls flat and there’s a sudden, awkward silence, followed by an almost choreographed group drink sip?
  • Is blockchain how the alt-right describes a fence?
  • Is blockchain when you block a troll on Twitter and all his troll friends come at you like, “I WOULDN’T EVEN FUCK YOU IF I WAS AN INCEL” and “I’M GONNA MAKE CHILI OUT OF YOUR BODY PARTS, BITCH” and then you have to painstakingly block each of them too?
  • Is blockchain a European architectural trend?
  • Is blockchain when a rich white couple alters their baby's DNA inside the womb so the kid doesn’t come out looking like its real dad?
  • Is blockchain when you’re constipated because you ate too many quarters?
  • Is blockchain when a big box store tries to move into a Brooklyn neighborhood and the community organizes a protest and it awakens something inside a middle-aged woman who has never been especially political, but suddenly finds herself chained to a light post screaming Marxist chants and the National Guard has to get involved and the whole thing causes a PR disaster for the store, which shockingly agrees to halt its expansion plan?
  • Is blockchain a decentralized way to store digital records?
  • Blockchain—that’s a sex thing, right?
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