I Bring a Warning from the Future and My Lack of Pants Should Be Irrelevant
Oh. You're hung up on the "no pants" thing. Uh, look, time travel is an imprecise science.
Oh. You're hung up on the "no pants" thing. Uh, look, time travel is an imprecise science.
The person who left the initial voicemail saying, “Come to the lab immediately?” That’s Dave 7.
You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
"I agree": How humiliating to spill coffee on your crotch. I know, right? I’m going to pretend I don’t see it.
- An important work of literature is being discussed. You have not read it. - You are mostly silent.
Have you been getting some emails that seem Phishy? This is PayPal, btw. The real PayPal. How can you know? You’ll get a gut feeling inside.
“Hi!” (casual) or “Hello!” (formal): These will give the impression that you are used to greeting people and it does not frighten you.
When you need a break from the mind-numbing fixation of staring at your phone, Scrabble® is here to help you.
I was hesitant about bringing up my favorite books, the "Horny Pottrom" series, but I had to know the truth.
Sweetest Day is better and not until October 16th, so I'm actually way early in already talking about it.
When I don’t immediately respond to your texts, it’s not because I’m just busy doing other things, it’s because I definitely hate you.
Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.