You pray the gods will soon fill your hands with a warm United States Passport Application. Oho! It is not so simple.
"I agree": How humiliating to spill coffee on your crotch. I know, right? I’m going to pretend I don’t see it.
- An important work of literature is being discussed. You have not read it. - You are mostly silent.
Have you been getting some emails that seem Phishy? This is PayPal, btw. The real PayPal. How can you know? You’ll get a gut feeling inside.
“Hi!” (casual) or “Hello!” (formal): These will give the impression that you are used to greeting people and it does not frighten you.
When you need a break from the mind-numbing fixation of staring at your phone, Scrabble® is here to help you.
I was hesitant about bringing up my favorite books, the "Horny Pottrom" series, but I had to know the truth.
Sweetest Day is better and not until October 16th, so I'm actually way early in already talking about it.
When I don’t immediately respond to your texts, it’s not because I’m just busy doing other things, it’s because I definitely hate you.
Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.
I woke up today thinking it was Thursday, but it turns out it might be Tuesday. I’m not really sure because both of them start with a “T.”
My astrology app once said that I was destined for greatness, but I thought that meant a diet tea sponsorship on Instagram or a successful Etsy shop.