Words and Phrases Banned from the U.S. Mint Staff Email Where Employees Print $38 Million a Day for $40,000 a Year
Torture, salivating, aroused. Every second, a sheet of currency worth the amount of my student loans passes me.
Tag: Lists
Password Recovery Questions Written by Beth, Your High School Frenemy
What was the number of the locker where I left you anonymous notes saying you’d be pretty if you washed your face?
Nathaniel Hale Has Some Additional Regrets, Actually
I regret that I have but one chance to offer a high five to the executioner while I’m on the gallows and then say, "Hey, don’t leave me hanging!"
Are You at a Passover Seder or Taking an Online Personality Quiz?
Contains only four questions of actual importance.
Aphorisms from the Notebook of a Guy Who Is Really into Cured Meats
The journey of a thousand ham slices begins with a single cut of the deli slicer.
Translations of the Inspirational Quotes Posted on Facebook by Denise, a Snowplow Parent of Two Teenagers
This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."
Everything at Area 51, Besides the Aliens
Bigfoot, Chupacabra, but not Mothman (he’s a real jerk)
An Updated Tax Write-Off Worksheet, by the Nosiest Employee at the IRS
Did you receive Venmo payments from your ex (Handle @MattDereklol46) AFTER you broke up on July 23, 2021?
Stick and Stones May Break My Bones, but There Are a Bunch of Words That Will Hurt Me
Or the words are about something I feel self-conscious about, like my underbite or my current living situation with my parents.
A List of Numbers Lower than My Monthly Student Loan Payment
5: Percentage of my college tuition covered by the inaugural Just a Taste of Hope Ayn Rand Memorial Scholarship.
Are You Ordering a Drink at a Crowded Bar or Picking Up Your Meds from the Local Pharmacy?
Random people keep jostling you to get to the front of the amorphous blob you’ve been waiting in for 30 minutes.
What Writers Are Like, Based on Stock Photos of Writers
A scribe’s only acceptable wardrobe is a good collared shirt or sensible cardigan, or a collared shirt under a sensible cardigan.