Clues That You Are Controlled by a Microchip Your Dentist Implanted in a Filling
You feel the urge to wash your dentist’s car after each appointment.
Tag: Lists
10 Existential Crises and the Essential Oils to Cure Them
The suspicion that we are all just cogs in a hyper-capitalist machine — SANDALWOOD
What I Thought My First Year of Teaching High School Would Be Like vs. What It Was Actually Like
- O Captain! My Captain! - Please get off the desk.
Welcome to Your Hotel’s Meager “Gym”
Wipe down equipment after use with one of the damp napkins placed atop our overflowing garbage bins.
Similarities Between Turnips and Bob
- Both fell off trucks at one point. - Neither speaks French.
6 Reasons Why Ryan Reynolds Is the Antichrist from Revelation
The leopard with the feet of a bear and the mouth of a lion is an obvious reference to Ryan Reynolds' dashing good looks.
Signs That the Person You’re Talking to Might Be from New York
Congratulations on your new baby! You know what else is new? New York City, where I work and live.
Hi There, Could You Please Fill Out My Survey?
Would you say this survey is currently: - Meeting your expectations - Not meeting your expectations
The Reviews of My Short Story Collection Are Positively Glowing
“Makes you glad to have nerve endings.” — Kirkus Reviews
Are You in a Kafka Story or on the Phone with a Customer Service Representative?
No one will explain the charge to you, but you are sure it is unjust.
Journal Prompts Written by Me, Your Middle School Bully
Prompt 4: Do you think you’ll ever grow out of being a nerd?
Strange UFO Encounters in Dooglesbury, Iowa
September 21st, 10:02 PM: “The Big Stinker” spotted again three miles away, hovering outside an elderly woman’s second-story window.