“This turkey is a little dry. I’m not criticizing, just observing!” “I’m logging all this food to track my macros. Maybe you should try it.” “I notice you didn’t bring anyone home this year. Again.” “Honey, I think you need a new phone. You never seem to get my texts.” “Is your sister still crying in the bathroom?”
“This stuffing is perfect! Did someone help you make it?” “So, how’s that so-called ‘job’ of yours going?” “What? What did I say wrong?” “Law school applications are down. Might be a good time to try again?” “It’s so nice you came. I know you’re busy.”
“If you want to break a cherished family tradition, be my guest.” “No thank you. Cheap wine gives me a headache.” FREE SPACE

“Ah, quality time with family!”

“If you read a real news source you’d know Thanksgiving glorifies genocide.” “Your new girlfriend certainly has a lot of piercings, doesn’t she?”
“Each slice of pumpkin pie has 425 calories. I’m just stating a fact.” “Did you change the recipe? I liked it the old way.” “No Black Friday for me. I don’t need wasteful consumerism to feel validated.” “So, when are you going to have kids?” “Sure Grandma, I’ll explain transgender. Again.”
“There’s a bowl of lettuce in case you’re gluten-free or vegan or whatever the latest fad is.” “I don't see the point of ‘Friendsgiving' unless of course you hate your family.” “I guess I’m just not hip enough to ‘get' Harry Styles.” “Some might say football is barbaric and the NFL is racist, but fine, turn on the game if you want.” “So, are you coming home for Christmas?”