- A nine-year-old who will be upset later that there’s no gravy for his potato volcano
"It’s a Wonderful Life When Compared to Everyone Else at This Bar" - George Bailey's guardian angel offers perspective.
My dead eyes do not say, “Someone help me! Management won’t let me retire!”
"So, how’s that so-called ‘job’ of yours going?"
It absolutely snuck up on me, even though I’m 32 years old and have lived in the tri-state area my entire life.
I’ve seen more get-togethers than Uncle Harold, may he rest in peace. He sat his ample frame on me dozens of times. His bum was one of the good ones.
Apple pie is still on! Flour is in high demand and low availability, so we will have to make do with some sort of potato-based crust.
Uncle Roger and cousin Lucy disagree about whether: A. JFK Jr. came back to life and is living in cousin Lucy’s shed. B. The war on Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving.
6. You cannot begin to fathom what you’re supposed to do with the assortment of random parts in the inner pouch.
Conspiracy Theorist Uncle: You’re the King of “doing your own research,” so you don’t have time to throw the ball around with your nephews.
-Despite it being fairly obvious, your pregnant friend’s wife won’t say who the father of her baby is.
8. The Nephew Whose Whole Thing Is Being Cool: We all went through this phase in high school.