The People Who Will Beat You in the Thanksgiving Half Marathon for Which You’ve Trained for Months
- A nine-year-old who will be upset later that there’s no gravy for his potato volcano
Tag: Thanksgiving
Classic Thanksgiving-Eve Holiday Movies
"It’s a Wonderful Life When Compared to Everyone Else at This Bar" - George Bailey's guardian angel offers perspective.
Positive Self-Affirmations Mumbled by the Pillsbury Doughboy at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
My dead eyes do not say, “Someone help me! Management won’t let me retire!”
Passive-Aggressive Comments from My Family on Thanksgiving Bingo
"So, how’s that so-called ‘job’ of yours going?"
I Can’t Believe It’s Already October, Despite Time Being a Fixed Human Construct
It absolutely snuck up on me, even though I’m 32 years old and have lived in the tri-state area my entire life.
Nobody’s Ever Thankful for Me, the Folding Chair from the Spare Room Closet
I’ve seen more get-togethers than Uncle Harold, may he rest in peace. He sat his ample frame on me dozens of times. His bum was one of the good ones.
Global Supply Chain Issues Have Not Spared This Year’s Thanksgiving Menu
Apple pie is still on! Flour is in high demand and low availability, so we will have to make do with some sort of potato-based crust.
LSAT Logic Problems for Every American’s Thanksgiving
Uncle Roger and cousin Lucy disagree about whether: A. JFK Jr. came back to life and is living in cousin Lucy’s shed. B. The war on Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving.
Are You Assembling an IKEA Dining Room Set or Cooking a Thanksgiving Turkey for the First Time?
6. You cannot begin to fathom what you’re supposed to do with the assortment of random parts in the inner pouch.
Choose Your Own Adventure: Holiday Uncle Edition
Conspiracy Theorist Uncle: You’re the King of “doing your own research,” so you don’t have time to throw the ball around with your nephews.
Are You at Thanksgiving Dinner, or Are You a Character in the “Star Wars” Prequels?
-Despite it being fairly obvious, your pregnant friend’s wife won’t say who the father of her baby is.
Family Members, Ranked
8. The Nephew Whose Whole Thing Is Being Cool: We all went through this phase in high school.