I’ve seen more get-togethers than Uncle Harold, may he rest in peace. He sat his ample frame on me dozens of times. His bum was one of the good ones.
Apple pie is still on! Flour is in high demand and low availability, so we will have to make do with some sort of potato-based crust.
Uncle Roger and cousin Lucy disagree about whether: A. JFK Jr. came back to life and is living in cousin Lucy’s shed. B. The war on Christmas starts the day after Thanksgiving.
6. You cannot begin to fathom what you’re supposed to do with the assortment of random parts in the inner pouch.
Conspiracy Theorist Uncle: You’re the King of “doing your own research,” so you don’t have time to throw the ball around with your nephews.
-Despite it being fairly obvious, your pregnant friend’s wife won’t say who the father of her baby is.
8. The Nephew Whose Whole Thing Is Being Cool: We all went through this phase in high school.
All you have to do is twist me open and plop me on a platter. I'm as easy as they come, sweetheart.
I’m thankful for friendships, romance, love of family--any bond that involves physical contact and is so strong it can supersede self-preservation.
Netherfield is taken by a Mr. Bingley, a young man of large fortune; that he fled from Texas’ COVID surge in his Tesla Model X.
Can you count on one family to arrive with cute Zoom backgrounds? Does the other family have a firmer grasp on how the “Mute” button works?
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.