I’m Canned Cranberry Sauce and Finally, It’s My Time to Shine
All you have to do is twist me open and plop me on a platter. I'm as easy as they come, sweetheart.
Tag: Thanksgiving
What Coronavirus Is Thankful for This Year
I’m thankful for friendships, romance, love of family--any bond that involves physical contact and is so strong it can supersede self-preservation.
Pride and Prejudice and COVID
Netherfield is taken by a Mr. Bingley, a young man of large fortune; that he fled from Texas’ COVID surge in his Tesla Model X.
A Discussion Guide for Couples Bickering Over Which Family’s Zoom Thanksgiving to Attend
Can you count on one family to arrive with cute Zoom backgrounds? Does the other family have a firmer grasp on how the “Mute” button works?
Holidays as Explained by Your Pets
Dog: Thanksgiving took a while to understand, but I’ve got it now. It starts when you’re locked outside because no one can deal with you today.
We, Your Parents, Expect the Whole Family Together for the Holidays Despite the Raging Pandemic
We know that you usually visit for 3-5 days, but the safest option is for everyone to stay for the suggested quarantine period of at least two weeks.
Coffee Mate Unveils 2020 Seasonal Flavors
Minty Mask: A light treat with undernotes of chemically treated paper, this is sure to be a crowd pleaser (socially distanced, natch).
Obituaries for a Thanksgiving Turkey
He passed the way he lived, with quiet dignity. Nourishing the owners of Grace Organic Farm with the bravery, honor, and tender thighs of a true hero.
Let’s Boycott Thanksgiving! This Has Nothing to Do with Me Being a Turkey, By the Way
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
Good Housekeeping Tips for Throwing a Cozy, Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving Rager
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.
How Many of My Fellow Leaves Must Die Before You Wake Up to the Atrocity of Fall?
Our ailing bodies fall from the sky into your front yard and all you can muster is an idle comment about the beauty of our chlorophyll jaundice.
Highlights From Squanto’s Plymouth Colony Twitter Feed
“What’s the deal with @Massasoit contradicting himself everytime he mentions me in a tweet or talks to the press?”