We, Your Parents, Expect the Whole Family Together for the Holidays Despite the Raging Pandemic
We know that you usually visit for 3-5 days, but the safest option is for everyone to stay for the suggested quarantine period of at least two weeks.
Tag: Thanksgiving
Coffee Mate Unveils 2020 Seasonal Flavors
Minty Mask: A light treat with undernotes of chemically treated paper, this is sure to be a crowd pleaser (socially distanced, natch).
Obituaries for a Thanksgiving Turkey
He passed the way he lived, with quiet dignity. Nourishing the owners of Grace Organic Farm with the bravery, honor, and tender thighs of a true hero.
Let’s Boycott Thanksgiving! This Has Nothing to Do with Me Being a Turkey, By the Way
Oh, is turkey a Thanksgiving item too? I guess I never really noticed, until now. Sure, maybe just go ahead and don’t make that one either.
Good Housekeeping Tips for Throwing a Cozy, Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving Rager
For a fun coordinated touch, make sure that you’ve got a few hollowed-out pumpkins for your guests to vomit into if they indulge in too many.
How Many of My Fellow Leaves Must Die Before You Wake Up to the Atrocity of Fall?
Our ailing bodies fall from the sky into your front yard and all you can muster is an idle comment about the beauty of our chlorophyll jaundice.
Highlights From Squanto’s Plymouth Colony Twitter Feed
“What’s the deal with @Massasoit contradicting himself everytime he mentions me in a tweet or talks to the press?”
No, I’m Not a Turkey Wearing a Mustache, It’s Me, Your Uncle Joe
Can I just say that this is hands down (speaking of hands, I’ve got two of ‘em) my favorite Thanksgiving to date?
So You’re Hiding From Your Family in the Bathroom During Thanksgiving
Yum, I hope that unfiltered tap water and internalized judgement from your mother tastes great!
Birds of a Feather: Thanksgiving in the Midwest
You made it: to Southern Iowa, in an auction hall with chewing tobacco at each table, 25 second cousins running around in their cowboy boots.
Things I Would Rather Do at Thanksgiving Dinner Than Answer Questions About My Personal Life
Give a TED talk to my family titled "The Evolution of My Personal Blogs," except every time I would usually say “blog” I have to say “blerg.”
You are Cordially Invited to This Year’s Thanksgiving, Which My Son Will Be Filming to Expose the Sham of the Modern Family
To symbolize the risks one takes when they pledge loyalty based only on shared blood, one small razor blade will be hidden in the macaroni scramble.