• Someone in an elaborate turkey costume
  • Someone who didn’t train and only signed up to get away from their family for several hours
  • A 73-year-old woman who appeared to be speedwalking the whole time
  • A nine-year-old who will be upset later that there’s no gravy for his potato volcano
  • Someone in a less elaborate turkey costume
  • An actual turkey
  • Someone who wasn’t even trusted to buy the cranberry sauce
  • Some guy who makes a turkey gobble noise every time he passes someone
  • Your grandfather who was also trying to get away from everyone, but then you had to be here, too, thanks
  • Someone running in pilgrim shoes
  • A guy who will make the “I’m stuffed” joke on at least 13 different occasions after eating stuffing later
  • Someone who stayed up until two hours before the start time making the food they forgot they were supposed to bring
  • A guy who only left the house to protest the Thanksgiving football game lineup. Where are the Browns?
  • A matriarch who sped past everyone because she couldn’t believe she allowed her family to be alone in her kitchen
  • A 21-year-old college student who stayed up until 2 AM getting absolutely wasted with his high school friends and will still throw up less than you
  • Someone dressed as Tofurky