The Kindly-Tempered Glockenspiel: Warm, outgoing, attentive to others, even more willing than the clavier to help you to your seat in the concert hall.

The Foul-Tempered Oboe: Quicker to anger than the clavier, will just as soon stab you with a double-reed as look at you.

The Even-Tempered Drum Machine: Takes everything in stride, even when you push her buttons.

The Aggressively-Tempered Triangle: Much more likely than the clavier to reach forward from the back seat and change the radio station while you’re driving.

The Lively-Tempered Bagpipe: The clavier can be spontaneous, but this guy’s positively mercurial. One moment he’s on a job in Edinburgh, the next he’s thumbing his way to Northumberland.

The Placidly-Tempered Mellotron: It’s all good, man.

The Dutifully-Tempered Hurdy-Gurdy: Moralistic to the point of displaying a clavier-than-thou attitude toward others. Unafraid to quote scripture or to click her tongue.

The Shyly-Tempered Fife: Timid and easily intimidated—even by the clavier, who would never hurt a flute.

The Tenderly-Tempered Euphonium: More sentimental than the clavier, but less maudlin than, say, the mandolin.

The Discreetly-Tempered Recorder: Keeps the clavier’s secrets.

The Apprehensively-Tempered Shofar: Self-doubting and prone to guilt. More given than the clavier to take the blame for being out of tune.

The Liberally-Tempered Ocarina: The clavier is no right-winger, but he might not be quite open-minded enough to vote for an actual socialist, female candidate for office. The Ocarina is.

The Individually-Tempered Zither: Self-reliant, solitary, and resourceful to the point of being a veritable one-man band, where the clavier is more of an ensemble player.

The Compulsively-Tempered Flugelhorn: The clavier’s well-documented tolerance of others’ disorder, carelessness, and disregard of social rules leaves her dumfounded. Speechless. Mute, even.

The Competitively-Tempered Clavier: The claviest.