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Early to bed, early to rise, makes people smug, annoying and unnecessarily enthusiastic.
Lao Tzu once said a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'll take that step into a plane.
Strong passwords must exercise regularly to maintain their strength.
In the joke, “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!” the chicken did intend to do so, but unfortunately met a car and crossed over to the “other” side.
When I said I wanted to make the world a better place I meant better for myself.
Are there intelligent life forms out there in the universe? Well yeah. No one's visited us yet.
“No, I'm not saying I want to sell feet pics. I'm saying I'd like an appraisal.”
“Gimme an ice cream sundae. Make it a double.”
–Child detective
When life gives you lemons, resell them as “rare, heirloom, organic, locally-sourced citrus produce.”
Just because I’m racially ambiguous doesn’t mean you have to guess.
God reminds me of my ex. Why? He expects us to be only with him while he is with everyone.
Between texting and calling, I prefer showing up at your door to see the look on your face when you tell me you’re not home.
I let Jesus take the wheel but ended up at a crossroads.
Here at the Hampton Inn, hospitality is our priority! Our hotel is your home. Now answer me this, would you leave 30 soaking wet hand towels on the bathroom floor of your home?
I will be retiring soon and living on a fixed income, which is great, because I've been on a broken one for years.
I'm not saying I'm better than Jesus. But I have 13 followers, and he only had 12.
Every day I tell my husband how happy he is.
Sometimes I type my computer password incorrectly and hit Enter and my computer rejects it. But then sometimes I hit Enter again as if to say, “Please?”
My first grade teacher was Mrs. Password.
They say you should never meet your heroes. That's why I've never met my dad.