Welcome to the Infowars Online Store! We have all the supplements you need to stand up to the globalist elites and survive the impending apocalypse. If you're intimidated by our wide array of excellent products, check out our “Essentials Package,” where we've curated the best products that we offer. Get ready to turn that beta body of yours into the greatest globalist fighting machine money can buy!
Ultimate Fish Oil
This is like regular fish oil, but rather than using weak fish, like salmon or herring, we use Ultimate Fish. These fish are only found at the bottom of Lake Erie during a solar eclipse. They’ve got rock hard bodies and cholesterol so low that the pharmaceutical industry is out to destroy them! Now you can consume their life-force with our Ultimate Fish Oil and get that body (and cholesterol level) you’ve always wanted.
Brain Force Plus
Everyone loves riding motorcycles to Sunday School but no one likes wearing lame helmets. That’s why we developed Brain Force Plus. It solidifies your brain into a concrete slab so that the next time you crash into the side of a 2004 Honda Civic, you’ll be standing on the side of the road in shock at the amount of damage your concrete brain can deliver.
Super Male Vitality
We went to a gas station and bought every single dick pill that we could get our hands on. Then we crushed them up and put them into a vial. THIS IS THAT VIAL. Take one drop of this and your dick will be harder than the Bar Exam.
Are you concerned about home security? With Living Defense, you’ll have all the security you need! We used the latest technology to trap an Arabian Fat-Tailed Scorpion and then we put that scorpion inside this pill bottle. So the next time an intruder comes sliding down your chimney, all you need to do is grab your bottle of Living Defense and chuck that scorpion straight at the intruder’s face.
Super Female Vitality
We took prenatal vitamins and a bunch of dick pills from the gas station, crushed them up, mixed them together, and put them into a vial. THIS IS THAT VIAL.
Knockout Sleep Support
Imagine driving down a dark and empty highway in your 2004 Honda Civic. All of a sudden, a man with a concrete brain smashes his motorcycle into you. Six weeks later, you wake up from a coma feeling completely refreshed. That’s what Knockout Sleep Support will feel like after just one pill!
Antimicrobial Power Toothbrush
We were running out of ideas, so we bought a vibrator and slapped some bristles on it. Now your mouth can achieve antimicrobial climax in just thirty seconds thanks to our advanced toothbrush technology. Say goodbye to those globalist germs and hello to the taste of vibrating freedom!
Please remember: this list only comprises the most essential supplements that we offer. There’s plenty more you can purchase to improve your chances of surviving the imminent apocalypse and fighting the globalist elites. So buy our Essentials Pack today and get 50% off our Madison Wisconsin Metro Area Survival Package! Because when the apocalypse happens, it’s coming for you first, Madison.