Ladies rand gentleman. I’m the best man for the revening. Or should I say best dog. Or should I say best talking dog. Or should I say only talking dog—should I keep going?
For those of you living runder a rock and rawled out to join us rhis evening, I’m Scooby Dooby Doo, Raggy’s best riend and rongtime coworker. Raggy rand I go way, way back. Trust me, rin dog years it’s reven ronger. Reven times ronger. Reah.
But before I talk about Raggy rand how he ricked this reautiful woman rinto rarrying him, I want to start by rhanking everyone for making the trip rout today. Really, rhank roo all for coming. It’s great for the local reconomy.
And special rhanks to our family from Relaware and Rohio who traveled to be with us. You guys in the back, stand rup. Ret’s give them a rand everyone.
Ranyways, I want to say how kind, racious, rand renerous he’s always been. But erough rabout the bartender…
Rhat guy’s great. He asked what my name was and I told him Rover as in, “It’s rokay if you rover-serve me.”
Rehehehe. Roops, knocked over the mic stand. Sorry about rhat. Is rhis thing on? Rokay.
The caterers said they rhought rhis would be a much bigger reception because of how much food we rordered. I rassured them that between Raggy and I, it would rall be gone.
Yes, rin rour younger days, we were known to build really rall sandwiches, runhinge our jaws rand swallow them rin one bite. Remember rhat? Rhose were the days.
Ralright, I’m gonna go off the script for a second. Don’t worry, I’m going to leave out the years college years when Raggy was “rexperimenting.” Rotally not going to talk about that. Just kidding roo guys.
We rused to get fan mail rall the time, saying that me and Raggy were an item. Ridiculous stuff. Stuff like Raggy rand I rin the back of the mystery machine and that Raggy would grab a jar of peanut butter and, well, I rhink roo know what rappens rext…
The real problem with rhat theory is rhat I rike to have crumbled rup Scooby Snacks rin my peanut butter. I’ll lick rhat off ranything! Rehehe. Rehoo. Ralright.
Words that come to mind when I think of Raggy are well really one word: a rokay guy. Not great at rolving rysteries but he has other strong suits.
Strong suits…ret me think. I swear I wrote them down…ret’s see. My rame is scooby doo…rada rada… rartender jokes… rada rada… Roh boy. I ralready said that. Really hard to read your handwriting Raggy. Rehehehehe.
Hey Raggy, rhank god Relma rettled with roo before she found the one: Me, Scooby Dooby Doo. Rehehehe.
When I first saw roo two together I rhought Raggy maybe took a raggy roaked in chloroform to get a reautiful girl like that. Reheh. Reh. Is rhis thing on?
But in rall seriousness, I’ve rever seen a rappier couple in my rife. Sir, in the front row, is rhat your wife? Rell then, I stand corrected.
In rall honesty, I couldn’t imagine life without roo. Raggy is the kind’ve friend who lets roo jump into his arms when things get a little too scary rand… rexcuse me. I romised I wouldn't do this. Rahem.
So I’d like to propose a toast. To many rappy years. Rife really is just a rong hallway with a bunch of doors rhat lead to a bunch of other doors rin a confusing wormhole of rentrances rand rexits rand the whole time you’re being chased by the ghost rof captain cutler who turns rout to be some old guy and if you’re rucky, you’ve got one thing on your side rhough rit rall: a riend like roo.
I’m glad rhat riend was roo, Raggy, I’m glad rhat riend was roo. Rheers.
Have a great night reveryone and don’t forget: we have the room runtil roo o'clock, so go razy.