Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
12:30 PM, reads the Faberge Egg clock the CFO gifted me for having such a good PSAT score.
I nodded off for like two seconds and woke up to fresh ink stains on my fingers, and a notary public closing his briefcase and heading out the door.
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
Company Softball Team 5000: Play as Herb from Accounting, who has a bad back and will inevitably have to sit out most of the innings.
28.5%: Waitstaff pleased the King by referring to him only as "my lord" or "my goodly liege."
You never know what kind of connections you’ll make. One of these people could be your ex-boyfriend or your current physical therapist.
For the shoes had been created in a supernova by the malevolent god Aernus, and radiated a power that could be worn by no man, let alone a child.
They are also ethically made, but somehow cost $12. These shoes make me look both mature but playful, demure but bold, casual but elegant.
In the hours leading up to the heist, the vault-code-deciphering guy walked around complaining about the high pollen count.
We give single people a chance to fall in love by making sure they are distracted by a bunch of petty in-fighting and random side-eye.
I swear to you by all that is holy and true I will defend your 2015 MacBook and Moleskine notebook with every fiber of my being.
It is beyond comprehension to many of us at Spaz headquarters that our new eighty-foot-tall action figure could be the cause of such an accident.