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Why do Barenaked Ladies’ experienced lawyers continue sending me documents entitled “SLIP AND FALL LAWSUIT, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR BAND”?
People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.
“Everything must come to an end.” Did I just tell you I’m dying, or that I finished The Legend of Zelda?
Instead of a 007 who is handsome, smooth, and combat-trained, what if we went with a 40-year-old guy who is allergic to bees.
Feel free to experiment to make sure you have just the right amount of melanin to sell more popcorn or disrupt the humidifier market.
On this side, perhaps a breathtaking view of a rugged mountain range soaring up majestically in the distance? Nope, just trees.
They found their secret sauce in nature, and they always said they would have to close up shop once the cave they mined it out of dried up.
“I was intrigued by the mention of fly fishing on your profile. I like fly fishing too!” “Wow! Let me show you a picture of this fish I caught.” “Fish?”
Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.
Finally. A gender for men. Man 2 isn’t your GRANDMOTHER’S GENDER. Or your grandfather’s, strictly speaking.
There’s also the excitement of trying not to throw up. If you have to vomit, there’s a whole ocean available.
Looking around, all I see are duds. In the sandbox, I see toddlers who don’t even know how to use their own feet.