Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
The water is so chalked full of minerals that no matter how hard I try, I cannot get the soap to lather. Just like the shower at home, but shittier.
Our top picks from 2023, featuring horny astronauts, long-winded toast recipe bloggers, and the tall guy blocking your view.
How many grams of protein do you consume each day? What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you count your macros, bro?
A Picture of the Loaf of Bread I Made Six Years Ago: My source of pride.
Join me on an epic day of going to all the doctors I’ve been avoiding since I was a teen and will no longer have access to!
A brief mea culpa from me: as the lone cook of this dinner, I cannot help but feel that I have to bear at least some responsibility for this.
For new patients, let me tell you about the opening scene. We fade in on a beach, sand caked with blood being washed away by the waves!
The filming schedules for the shows overlap so that I always have at least two competing crews filming me at once and oftentimes, all four.
A lot of the information Spotify gives you doesn’t seem that interesting anyway. I don’t even think “Toxic Positivity Delusioncore” is a real genre.
Consider that if you had stolen a different car (like my neighbor’s Prius, as an arbitrary example) and left mine unharmed.
“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”
Instead of practical commitments, we’ve asked them to show up with the filthiest, horniest fanfic about an environmentalist allegory ever.