Things are not going very well for me right now; in fact, my life has never been worse. My small business, a bottling company that’s been in my family for three generations, is going under; my wife Samantha, who’s been by my side for thirteen years, is now leaving me; my sister, who’s the bright spot of my family, recently passed away tragically; and to make matters worse, I’m dealing with a slew of health problems related to my obesity.

One silver lining to all this turmoil has been that I’ve earned starring roles in four different reality TV shows.

The financially ruinous dissolution of my bottling company is currently being covered by Bankruptcy Nation on Fox Business. Their camera crews follow me around 14 hours a day as I sort through years of sloppy bookkeeping, figure out how to pay health code fines, and face ever more audits and lawsuits as my myriad business malpractices come to light.

My messy separation with my wife has been fodder for the A+E show Marriage Wars. Their cameras have caught a sizzling array of our most explosive fights on film. I am slightly optimistic that the footage will help my case in court; my wife is hopeful of the same. I guess we’ll just have to see the final edit before we know who’s more sympathetic.

As if this wasn’t enough to have on my plate, I’m also going through a tragedy. My wonderful little sister Gracie, who was an up-and-coming country recording artist, died in a car wreck recently after only just being signed to a small record label. She was the one shining light in my otherwise unremarkable family. Her life was especially dazzling and promising when compared to mine. All I can think about is how better it would have been if I had died in that accident instead of her. Obviously, her sudden death has been very hard on me and I think that’ll really come through in my episode of Vice’s docu-series Grief Mode.

In the background of all these external problems is my lifelong struggle with my weight. It’s mostly not been a terrible obstacle in my life but I’ve recently put on an additional 40 pounds and my doctor has made me aware that I’m pre-diabetic and at elevated risk for a slew of other health problems. I knew I had to do something drastic to finally get a handle on my health.

That’s why I agreed to be on TLC’s weight loss show Fat Chuckers. They film me every day, capturing the difficulties I have with a low-carb diet and rigorous exercise routine during a time in my life when I’d love nothing more than even a slight moment of respite or comfort.

The filming schedules for the shows overlap so that I always have at least two competing crews filming me at once and oftentimes, all four. Producers from different shows will get into bitter fights with each other over scenes where my various plights intersect.

Just the other day, my wife and I were having a screaming match and she said, “You can’t even run the business your daddy left you. I can’t believe I married such a stupid, fat loser.” As you can imagine that choice line from my soon-to-be ex-wife caused a three-way turf war with producers from every show save Grief Mode.

Vice wasn’t left in the cold for long however—as soon as Samantha’s harsh takedown was left ringing in the air, I spiraled into another fit of sorrow thinking about how I’ll never see my sister again. My long, helpless cry was “grief gold” according to one producer. I think Fat Chuckers even managed to get some “diet struggle” B-roll from that tearful breakdown.

I hope that I can get to a place in my life where things have settled and there’s maybe only one or two reality shows following me around, but I fear things may get worse before they get better.

Next week, filming is set to begin on my two-episode arc on The History Channel’s Repo Battles, as two of my cars and my boat are set to be repossessed by the bank after months of back payments. This is going to be a special episode as well. The producers told me they usually don’t get the subject’s consent ahead of time, generally opting to blur their faces. But they already reached out, informing me of my impending repossessions, and assured me that my episode would take on a more nuanced and sympathetic approach with the intent to “explore what life is like on the other side of the tow hitch.”