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Well done, Bill Phillips, Men's Health editor-in-chief, you did it. You figured out the perfect combination of repetitive nonsense that keeps me coming back for more.
Sorry I sneaked on board Apollo 17 without your permission, NASA - that's entirely on me. But listen, can you GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING ROCK ALREADY??
So if I don't buy a beer I have to leave? I was just telling the underdressed young lady here that I can't buy another beer because I'm saving for plane tickets.
BuzzFeed use the beaten-horse style of nostalgic prose so predictably and effectively, that we've already written an excerpt of what you'll see in 2034.
John Finklestein went from celebrated art collector to shamed FART collector overnight. Here's how that smelly reputation ended up taking him to the top.
It's not that I DON'T want to have sex, and it's not that I DO want to have sex, it's that I simply don't give a fuck about getting fucked. And yet I feel like I should.
If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid, it's natural. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life and you can't do that.
Good thing great authors aren't alive today. Here are 10 rejection letters they likely would have received in our current, dismal literary market.
"Your mom" has always been a fairly standard insult, but when it's consistently leveled at you by the cool kids in middle school, it's time to shake up the game.
You might have guessed that I am still without a husband. Which is why I have established an online profile in search of dating courtship.
Vanessa, I know how much you adore Thad. I regret that we found that moaning man at The Salmon Cowboy, but we can't escape this fishy sexual proposition now.
After my wildly successful lecture series, "Where The Hell Am I? A MapQuest For The Afterlife," people had a lot more questions about Heaven. Here's my travel guide!