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Have you noticed that your life has taken a hard left turn into the pits of hell? Now, even members of the animal kingdom are trying to distance themselves from you.
If we don't get enough quarters into the Meter Colossus before sundown, we're all gonna get handed life's final parking ticket: death. Now, do you want to pay the fine?
Famarchy: The (arguably amusing) utter chaos into which your offbeat loved ones inevitably descend within the first 12-18 hours of each ill-fated reunion.
If these people are so poor, where's all the garbage coming from. Don't you have to have belongings first in order to have trash? I have a theory on where it all comes from.
Are you ready for the Sony Pictures Master Plan? We combine Star Wars 7 with Star Trek 13 and Super Troopers 2 all in one gigantic mega-blockbuster film!
For a small fee of US $90, you too can be strapped to a surfboard in which a Hawaiian 9-year-old will take you from one end of the beach to the other.
Yoo hoo, ladies! Wondering what to get that special patriarchy in your life that already has everything? The answer is… more of everything!
The maji hoped Jesus would grow up and use the frankincense and myrrh to develop a proprietary blend for His signature cologne, using His omniscient business acumen.
Another year has passed and the extended Miller family has been blessed with good fortune, good friends, and good lawyers who kept our youngest out of jail.
If the state of my pillow covers means anything, this douchebag uses a ton of mustache wax. That narrows it down to eleven out of the fifteen band members.
I have long been skeptical of uber-feminists claiming that rampant sexism remains in America. But it is most alive and well among the professoriate on college campuses.
Are you afraid that some sort of natural disaster will happen if you can’t always see which slide is on deck? What IS IT exactly that you have against presentation mode?