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Comedy Writing
Help! My Dukes of Hazzard Lunchbox Has Me on the Wrong Side of History
It had the car... with the flag! Yes, THAT flag! What could my mother have been thinking when she gave in to my demands for it?
Take Your Eyes Off Twitter and Do Your Fucking Lifeguarding Job!
A new problem is on the rise in this techie world of ours: lifeguards texting at public pools. Get the hell off your phone and back to your minimum wage toil!
Lost Your Mojo? Join the “Regain Your Mojo at the HoJo” Hotel Seminar
Stage hypnotists are using everything from scare tactics to the element of surprise to downright threats to unlock the door to the Mojo begging to be let back in.
Ultimate Dog®: Male Dog Enhancement to Get Those Bitches Howling!
ATTENTION BREEDERS! Ultimate Dog® can make ANY Dog a Horn Dog! Whether it’s a Lazy Bloodhound, or a Gay Chihuahua, your pedigree will be looking for pussy in no time flat!
What It’s Like Being a Telemarketer From Hell
From 150 miles under the bandstand of Toms River, NJ, a demon explains what it's like to be a timeshare telemarketer in Hell.
Ask Dracula Anything
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
The Demonic Possession Kit: Test Your “Quiet Neighbors” for the Devil
Gone are the days of sitting around nervously waiting for that quiet nutcase to shoot up a public space. Now a single kit can test for the devil!
Richard Peter Johnson is America’s New Favorite Dick
By night, Dick Peter Johnson roams the streets of skid row, the halls of prisons, and the cul-de-sacs of suburbia in search of the scumbags. By day, he dresses as Penisman.
6 Death Penalty Methods for Capital Punishment Traditionalists
Whatever happened to boiling people in oil? Or the guillotine, or hot lead, or stoning people? Now you have to go to Saudi Arabia for good old-fashioned executions.
Ocean’s 65 and Over
Ever seen Ocean's Eleven? They were experienced. Here's exactly how I imagine an ATM caper could be pulled off best by retirees.
Welcome to McDoctor, May I Take Your Symptoms?
What if going to the doctor was like getting your car washed? You drive in and latch your tires on those rails and the conveyor pulls you into that tunnel.