Humor writing published daily. Featured: Best of Year | Editors’ Picks | People’s Favorites | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories
An Open Letter to Arbor Day
I'm warning you: they won't stop until Arbor Day becomes Firewood Day.
Articles
How to Recover After Telling a Job Interviewer That “You’re a Cat Who Loves Lasagna, But Hates Mondays”
There is no better example of multitasking than being able to eat flat pasta, ground beef, tomato sauce, and three types of cheeses all in one dish.
I Will Not Be Issuing a Refund For My Unorthodox “Next Stop: Team Town” Workshop
It is true: I stabbed every balloon on the showroom floor and likened it to Steve stabbing me in the back when he left me for the dweebs at DreamTeamz LLC.
Call Me By Your Ready Player One
Oliver feels as if he is being let in on an intimate secret as Elio pushes open a door to a loud, crowded arcade. "This is my spot."
I’m Scaling This Mountain With Nothing But Tincup Brand Whiskey in My Backpack for Authenticity’s Sake
It’s about putting yourself in the life-threatening, strenuous situations that past generations did their utmost to avoid and drank to forget.
Strategies to Cure Your Partner’s Insomnia
Some can't sleep well if their partner can’t decide whether to be the big spoon, or the little spoon, or maybe to just not touch you at all.
How to Not Kill Your Orchid, Again
Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.
Emo Song Titles or Actual Things I’ve Heard at Brunch?
20. I Liked You Better Before You Were Naked on the Internet. 21. Sleepless in Seattle is Not All It’s Cracked Up to Be, Honey
Games of Clones
Game of Phones: Follows House Phonecians, that reject the Talk, Text, and Data and popularize an "Unlimited Plan" beyond The Wall.
Quiz: What Have You Done With My Amulet, Boy?
‘Twas I who revived your battle-weary body with the healing milk of the tri-horned bison!
Due to an Oddly Popular Demand, I Present 8 More Ways to Kiss Your Parents on the Lips
Now that I know there are more of us, maybe we can form a community. We kiss our parents on the lips together, and they will gently kiss us back.
Because of #Metoo, Every Time I Meet Another Woman, We Have to Bond, Swap Harassment Stories, Hug, and Drink Each Other’s Blood
The coven of womanhood is strict. I’ve given out more hugs to passersby than I ever wanted. I also have a ton of blood floating types in my body.