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As I picked up the box of cookies, I imagined a world where everyone thought it was okay to leave items they didn’t want anymore wherever they please.
We had a few incidents in which some misused their legally acquired, weaponized smallpox strains, but that's a small price to pay for freedom.
Dad Bod Mints: Like the popular “Thin Mints,” but thicker, and with a little bit of hair.
9. Vino Rosso (12-1) – Means "red wine" in Italian and "try-hard" in English.
And when you asked what this mysterious doppelgänger’s name was, your barber quickly said, “That? That’s, uh, Comb McScissors.”
One pound is equal to 7000 grains of barley. Yep, barley. Grains of wheat is a different calculation. And why 7000? Hey, it’s your system, don’t look at me.
I have communication issues? That's funny because in the eyes of the University of Illinois School of Communications, I am a master of communication.
Some of you have commented on social media asking, “Why are you an angry lesbian who’s trying to take a nice man’s place at the Congress? Also, fat.”
If a troll eats my head, how will I spread the message that wielding trolls is a God-given right?
Other topics conversation should focus on famous people you’ve worked with or in relative proximity to, and how long it took to get to the meeting.
Aristotle: “Man, when perfected, is the best of animals,/ but when separated from poppies and almond trees, he is the worst of all.”
Juan Baerga, ‘10, has only ever used what he learned from his $160,000 engineering degree in determining which piece to remove in Jenga.