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I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’m growing it out for a gig. Nothing major, just an acting thing. I assume Jake told you I’m an actor?
The Working Mother of Three: She wakes up at 4:30 AM so that she can squeeze in a ten-miler before taking her kids to school and arriving at the office.
“pizzalover99” is a drooling stoner. “PizzaLover99” is a mensch who commands respect in the boardroom, even with his fly down.
Your first question, of course, must be, "Did we get the appendix out?" Yes. Most of it. Eventually.
Ma’am, your wariness is completely understandable, but I am genuinely asking about whether your refrigerator is operational.
Please, Scrubbies, dry the grease from your eyes. I’ll always be your Scrub Daddy.
Sorry, I don’t mean to nag. I’m your shadow-self, not your mother.
A one horse town isn’t some village out in the boonies. Do you know how many horses there are in the boonies? Tons.
It’s been raining men every day since 1982, and the repercussions are getting more serious by the day.
I’d like to say I understand your pain, but how could I? The only terror I’ve experienced is watching everyone I ever loved die.
It's time again to celebrate our beloved little Scarface-quoting third-grader. He's the reason your kid knows what ketamine is.
We had a sneaking suspicion it might taste bad after our first focus group. People were saying it was "upsetting" and it made them feel "unsafe."