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Q: I have no symptoms, but yesterday I had a sexy dream about my flatmate and now I feel... awkward? A: Fly! Fly! Thy death wound is upon thee!
Schrödinger’s Everything: If you refuse to look at your bank balance, you are simultaneously broke and rich.
She laughed, but do you think maybe deep inside she thought you were an idiot? Nah... Probably not. Anyway, no reason to hash it out at 2:32 AM!
Zoinks! Accuweather.com doesn’t want to rain on your parade, but we need that juicy, juicy marketing money to keep powering these weather puns.
We’re not real good at giving directions, so we suggest you stop by the quaint post office off Route 40 (or 14?), and ask for Hank.
But I’m gonna lie to y’al' so’s y’all have an excuse to sit a spell with me at this here combination A&W-Long John Silver’s-Exxon gas station.
Tomorrow I’ll open up "Moby Dick" and listen to that iconic first line, “Call me Captain Ahab, because I’m in charge of this whaling operation now.”
3. Make sure to shout, "BIG CATS!" in a fake Southern accent every 47 minutes no matter where you are.
We offer absolutely no supervision to inhibit your individualized sense of what’s proper and safe technique. Weights will be scattered about.
In Mayr-a-Layrgo stood Pootin, who existed before the primaries. He sits upon a giant steed, wearing pants but no shirt, chest oiled for some reason.
One especially pleasing development is how Grandpa has started taking responsibility for his actions.
Succulents, violets, bromeliads, fiddle leaf figs, and ferns all appreciate a heavy dousing of gravy.