A Wallet Laments Getting No Ass in Quarantine
Week after week, the routine never varies. Tim wakes up, reaches for idiotic iPhone, eats Cheez-Its, and sits on his sweet ass without me.
Greg Marshall is the seventh-funniest member of his family and a dedicated phone talker.
Week after week, the routine never varies. Tim wakes up, reaches for idiotic iPhone, eats Cheez-Its, and sits on his sweet ass without me.
Thank goodness I’m still booking kindergarten graduations and Mormon cosplay through Cameo.
Disinfect your broom, too. We recommend a homemade flying potion made of opium poppies, spotted red mushrooms, and toad skins.
That mewing and hawing you’re hearing on the upper deck isn’t the 4 PM slop feeding. It’s a protest!
We accept many forms of currency, including gold bars, silver pesos, and buried treasure, provided it is accompanied by a map.