Would you just listen for a second and give me a chance to explain? This is a perfectly legitimate entrepreneurial opportunity for the both of us. I promise you, this is not one of the shady multi-level marketing schemes you see on Facebook every day. You and I have a chance to make some real money here. We’re going to rob a bank.

Those schemes you see online always rely on poor saps buying whatever vitamin powder or skin cream you’re hawking. Ridiculous, right? That’s why we’re going to break directly into a bank vault and steal the money inside. We’re going to be smart and not rely on fickle consumers.

Every business idea needs a rock-solid plan. I analyzed the current market and found that the bank has much more money than we do. However, we have many more guns and ammunition than the bank has. Thus, we’re going to kick open the front doors of First National, demand to be taken to the vault, and relieve said vault of the funds kept wherewithin. Seems more reasonable than thinking people are going to buy your Acai Powder.

It’s just going to be me and you; we’ll split the profits 50/50. Unless, of course, you wanted to bring in some friends of yours. It would make the robbery go a lot quicker. I know, you don’t want to split the pot more. How about for each friend you bring in to our robbery group, you get ten percent of their take? That way you’re actually rewarded for encouraging growth in our fledgling enterprise.

Better yet, we could empower those friends to stage their own robberies. We’d get a cut of the profits, of course, that’s just how these things work. I bet soon enough, we won’t even have to rob banks ourselves. Think of how amazing it will be, sitting back, relaxing, and watching our profits roll-in?

I think it’s important to only recruit enthusiastic members of our tiered bank-robbing system. They’ll be more likely to recruit others, and remember what I said, we get a cut of all the profits your friends bring in, and their friends bring in, and the friends of the friends of your friends bring in. Unlimited growth.

Listen, we do have to be honest with ourselves though I think, after saying all this, there’s one thing neither of us want to admit: we need start-up cash. You and I, we’re putting this whole operation together and already assuming risk. I don’t think it’s wrong to have the friend we bring in put in a little investment. Everyone needs skin in the game, so for a simple $399 initial contribution they will have access to our entire bank robbing network. It seems high, but remember they’ll receive a $50 bonus credit for every 10th friend they bring in to our organization. They’ll be making money in no time.

Now obviously we can’t be broadcasting this on the local news. But, couldn’t it be valuable to invest in some hyper-targeted social media ads? This opportunity isn’t for everyone. We need dedicated, focused, hard-working males between the ages of 18-35 preferably with a high school degree and some amount of credit card debt. Once we get a good base of bank robbing networkers, they’ll share it with like-minded individuals and our system will flourish.

This is going to be a real turning point for us. We’re putting ridiculous schemes behind us and maturing to more stable business opportunities. I’m excited for the future. If this goes well, I’ll be able to pay off my balance to NutriGrowthInc. Only two hundred and seventy-three cases of Bull Juice Extract left to sell. Soon enough, my friend. Soon enough.