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Starting to feel claustrophobic? Great! That’s precisely how you should feel as you fake deliberate the fate of a human being.
My parents whisked me into showbiz after the nursery rhyme was published. Birthday candles, campfires, firecrackers... I jumped over it all.
It is your blueberry Pop-Tarts that are killing the porpoises. Not your neighbor’s Pop-Tarts or that guy in Idaho’s Pop-Tarts.
Have you found yourself in a position where your grand scheme will allow you to not only kidnap the governor’s daughter, but his wife as well?
It had been about three weeks of increasingly nasty slip-ups but perhaps now the jig was finally up.
Would you watch a show about a sex columnist in Pocatello? Without me as the backdrop, it’s just white women complaining.
Now, instead of giving off the "vibes" of a Hallmark movie, I'm basically just a glorified lasso wrapped around your windowsill.
Q: Do members have to kill to show how committed they are? A: Our initiation ritual is to show everyone in the gang your Internet search history.
"A Text Message Conversation Between Max and His Best Friend from High School" – This conversation experienced many deaths.
I run this blog with the same passion that I put into competing in semi-annual regional painting competitions hosted by local newspapers.
She just holds bees. Sometimes the bees sting, so she has a high pain tolerance. But the beauty stuck in her eye apparently really hurts.
I mean, how am I supposed to ask Jillian how her pregnancy is coming alongÉ And answering knock-knock jokes is now completely out of the question.