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Honestly, if it wasn’t good in the "Bourne" movies, who thought shaky cam would be good to use over my third-grade musical?
I will complain about my shin splints roughly four times a day. I know my chiropractor will already be a zombie by that point (R.I.P. Dr. Gordon).
So magical are they, that if you purchase them now, by tomorrow they’ll be worth thousands, perhaps even millions of dollars!
The bar gets lower every year, and you still haven't managed to clear it. But this one. This is the year. You can feel it.
First off, my name is Jonathan. No one called me John, except Billy Joel. So were we really even friends?
And so I asked Conqueror if he was a new Uber driver, and he said unto me, "As a matter of fact, this is my first day driving."
Beethoven, Mozart, the one who wrote the song that plays during "Ocean’s 11" when they’re looking at the fountains. Yup, all those guys. And probably more.
Blonde Pinocchio was a blatantly transparent attempt for Geppetto to cash in on the notoriety of his most famous creation.
How many times have we seen the same old Frankenstein’s monster? So get excited, because THIS Monster stabs.
I resolve to say "No" more often to things like babysitting around the clock for my friends.
Phork: This is an eating utensil composed of a traditional fork and a Phil Collins action figure.
I will run a mile every morning… but if my knee is acting up, I will walk instead… unless it’s raining, of course… or even drizzling...