I will run a mile every morning

…but if my knee is acting up, I will walk instead… unless it’s raining, of course… or even drizzling (don’t want to catch a cold)… or, naturally, if I have something important to do that morning… like driving my wife to the supermarket (well, it’s important to her)… or getting a haircut (important to me)… or some other things I’d rather not get into right now… but if it’s a sunny day and I feel one-hundred percent (not just knee, but entire body) and I have absolutely nothing else to do, I will run… no, correct that, walk (knee never feels one-hundred percent) a mile (maybe less, depending on how knee feels) every morning… weekday morning, that is… excluding holidays.

I will not eat meat

…talking about red meat, of course… pork is alright, according to that ad campaign… but definitely no beef or veal… except on holidays (can’t insult the family)… and at business meals (can’t insult the clients)… and maybe on Sundays (should have one day off, right?)… and franks and hamburgers are okay at the ballpark (otherwise I’d starve, which would be more unhealthy than red meat)… but I’ll absolutely forgo beef jerky… even on Sunday… I guarantee that one-hundred percent.

I will drink less alcohol

…maybe only one glass of wine a day… unless it’s with a meal—then, I understand, it’s alright to have two… three, if it’s white wine or rose… actually, even with red wine there’s some leeway—more allowed with lighter reds than with heavier ones like Sicilian reds (which, fortunately, aren’t exactly my favorites)… so, I vow that if I have a Sicilian red wine, I will have no more than one glass… unless, of course, it’s with dinner.

I will read more important books

…not just page-turners… though who says a page-turner can’t be important?… it’s subjective, isn’t it?… I mean a book doesn’t have to be a boring struggle to read to be important, does it?… well, I don’t think so… but don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not going to read just supermarket paperbacks… although I have seen some there that, though maybe not considered important, are definitely not unimportant… kind of a grey area, right?… like I said, subjective… what’s important to one person may not be important to the next person… well, I’m sure I’ll make the right decisions… for me, anyway.

I will socialize more

…at least once a week I’ll try to have lunch with friends… but not those bores who talk about themselves all the time… or those tightwads who go to the bathroom as soon as the check comes… just friends who I really like… and, I might add, who live close enough so that I don’t have to drive forever to get to the restaurant (not to mention the ones who never want to at least meet at a restaurant in the middle but who always want to go to a place that’s close to them)… anyway, I think I still have a few of those interesting, non-stingy, unselfish, friends left… I’ll be sure to check my address book… as soon as I have a chance.

I will save more money

…if I get a raise… a decent one… no, make that if I get a substantial one… if so, I can guarantee that I will save more money than I did last year (which, in the interest of full disclosure, was zero)… well, I can practically guarantee it, anyway.


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