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As far as anyone here knows, we’re just one extremely handsome journalist and one extremely available woman sharing bruschetta.
My clone is always ill. Plus, our clones are deficient in blood, because we didn’t give them enough blood, so they are often woozy.
I can see that you've just put sunglasses on him. No, you're not allowed to "Weekend at Bernie's" an ice sculpture.
“Makes you glad to have nerve endings.” — Kirkus Reviews
I am going to yell into a pillow. I am going to scream in an empty car. I am going to throw a full tantrum in the grocery store cereal aisle.
I think I can muster up just enough strength to go put the gardening tools away but that’s about it. Just give me a second while I try to stand up.
February 1: Someone told me the ice cream bowl was basically just a cone. Total hater.
The word was poised to leap out of my mouth. I could feel the word coming loose from whatever papillae it had stepped in.
Larry took long walks where he bore a smug, knowing smile as he passed this editor’s house and looked upon the decrepit, unkempt lawn.
I didn’t bring my resume with me but here you go: hahahahahhaa. See, I’m good.
“Yankee Stadium?” I said, pointing towards the castle below. “Camelot,” he replied. “What the fuck,” I said.
5:00 AM – Catching the sunrise? Driving to hockey practice? This is the third least-late time ever invented!