It’s So Hard to Break Out with an Independent Podcast That’s Just 45 Minutes of Dolphin Noises These Days
How can an outsider podcast hope to find an audience for its maritime squeaks, squawks, and screeches in such a crowded industry?
Comedy Writing
A Connecticut Yankee Fan in King Arthur’s Court
“Yankee Stadium?” I said, pointing towards the castle below. “Camelot,” he replied. “What the fuck,” I said.
Other Ways Warner Bros. Is Trying to Bury JK Rowling’s Anti-Trans Tweets
International Wizarding Day of No Technology, a new celebration where Harry Potter fans don't use modern technology while we get a handle on this PR nightmare.
Lights? Camera? Movie Theaters!
Movie theaters! The birthplace of popcorn. The gasps, the laughs, the slurps of teenagers' tongues attacking each other mere inches from your ear.
What People Walking Behind Me Think, Probably
"His sneakers are kind of beat up, but that just shows he's a man of values, of integrity. Everyone respects him for this."
Well, Stranger, It Seems This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us, on Account of My Torso Mysteriously Growing Larger Every Time I Say the Word “Ain’t”
I ain't no pushover. Please don’t push me over---I’ve become extremely top-heavy. More so after that last thing I said about not bein’ no pushover.
Company-Wide Emails That Have Interrupted My Actual Work
Friendly reminder that client bathroom is for clients only / Executive you’ve never met leaving company / Routine system maintenance this weekend
I’m the Guy Your Uber Drivers Talk to Late at Night
Who could have thought, “Hey, it’s 2:15 AM, time to catch up with Slobodan!” You better believe that’s me on the other end. Every time.
Behold! Der American Adventures of Das EuroDad!
Mein gott, his calves are whiter than the snowcapped peaks of the Swiss Alps. Achtung, baby!
The Thing about High School Girls Is That They Stay the Same Age, And So Do I Ever Since I Drank from That Magic Well
Some may see the age gap as a little weird, but it's not nearly as weird as if I looked my real age, because then I would be a decaying skeleton.
9 Times I Did Something Crazy at Jason’s Party and Everyone Was Like, “That’s Just Spencer Being Spencer!”
Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!
My Girlfriend Tries to Break Up With Me, a One-Off Character Who Needs to Quickly Deliver a Lot of Exposition
"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"