Practice Set 1: Seating Chart Chaos

You and your fiance must seat seven members of your bridal party (all of whom went to college together) down one side of your King’s Table. The seats are numbered 1-7, from left to right. The bridal party members who must be assigned to said seats are: Becca, Rachel, Danny, Tyler, Zoey, Krista, and Rob. Although Becca gets a little flirty when she’s tipsy and likes to sit on people’s laps, for the purpose of this exercise you are assuming that only one bridal party member can occupy each seat at a time.

The assignment of the members to the seats is subject to the following restrictions:

Becca and Danny have an on-again, off-again thing, but Becca thinks the wedding is a perfect opportunity to “get back in Danny’s pants.” She’s brought up her plan to you numerous times—at your engagement party, your bachelorette weekend, etc. Although you’re concerned for Becca’s mental health, she did get you a really nice set of geode coasters for your bridal shower… Becca and Danny must occupy neighboring seats.

Zoey likes to drink. A lot. She’s also been known to twerk at formal events. Since your grandfather has already had one coronary bypass too many, you’re trying to keep the dancefloor as tasteful as possible. Danny, on the other hand, enjoys policing others’ behavior—especially women. Therefore, Danny must be seated somewhere to the right of Zoey (between her and the dancefloor).

Junior year, Krista and Rob hooked up in the back of your school’s planetarium. You're worried the open air tent paired with the soothing orchestral music could trigger some latent trauma. Krista and Rob cannot occupy neighboring seats.

Practice Set 2: Primping Pandemonium

As the bride to be, you must undergo seven beauty procedures—pedicure, manicure, eyebrow wax, hair cut/color, teeth whitening, facial, and spray tan—during the week before your wedding day. This will ensure you look like a hairless, highlighted, and (fingers-crossed) unrecognizable barbie doll for your groom, family and friends. Each procedure will be performed once, one at a time.

In deciding the order, you must observe the following restrictions:

Pedicure must be earlier than spray tan
Every gal knows you can’t get a pedicure after a spray tan! The organic sugar scrub and pumice stone will wipe that shit right off! Other things you can’t do after a spray tan include shaving, swimming, showering, sweating, wearing spandex, wearing tight jeans, going near liquids that might splash you, drinking liquids that might splash you, drinking anything, walking, moving, and breathing.

Pedicure has to be either immediately before or immediately after manicure
There are only two nail salons in town and you prefer the one where you’re like 80% sure they clean their tools between customers. They’re pretty pricey though, so the only way you can justify going is doing the 25% off mani/pedi package.

Eyebrow wax must be immediately before facial
You need to take this one very very seriously. If you don’t, you run the risk of your face falling off. Completely off. It’s something you heard from a friend’s friend’s friend’s friend, so you’re 100% sure it’s true.

Practice Set 3: Thank You Note Nuisance

It’s a month after your wedding and you and your newly espoused are beginning to write Thank You cards. That’s when you realize—oh no!—that you've jumbled the gifts from three of your guests: Aunt Libbie, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, and Grandpoppy Pat. The stray gifts are four monogrammed cheese boards, two ice cream scoops, one air fryer, and three sets of floral dish towels.

You may use the following clues to help determine which gifts belong to which guests:

The cheese board is a wedding gift staple—no necessity. In fact, in many states, without collecting at least one cabinet’s worth of cheese boards, a new couple’s nuptials are not fully recognized in the eyes of the law. Therefore you assume each guest gave you at least one cheeseboard.

The guest who gifted you the airfryer seems like someone who would be a fan of Rachel Ray. Rachel Ray seems like she would be a fan of floral dish towels. Ergo, the guest who gifted you the airfryer also gifted at least one set of floral dish towels.

Grandpoppy Pat considers himself a man of tradition. He enjoys yelling about women politicians and using plastic straws and you know he would be against the principle of air frying (vs. real frying) anything. Grandpoppy Pat did not gift you the air fryer.

See individual questions and answers on the next page. Oh yeah, and congrats on finding the love of your life!


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