Hi, my name’s Logan Paul. You may know me as the original bad boy of YouTube, but I recently cemented myself as the Internet’s #1 supervillain. I filmed my friends and I laughing at the dead body of a man who committed suicide in Japan and uploaded it to my YouTube channel, which nets me about $20,000 per video in ad revenue.
That was the final straw for YouTube, it seemed. They punished me, and badly: I was kicked out of their elite ad program, meaning I’d earn just a little less money every time I posted one of my viral videos, like faking my own death in front of unsuspecting children.
So over the last few weeks, I’ve listened to my soul, and the throngs of angry protestors outside my $7 million dollar estate, and I’ve decided to make 2018 a year of love, hope, and connection. The head of content strategy at YouTube shares this vision with me, and has pre-approved the following three vlog concepts…
1. What Would You Do For Klondike?
That lost, starving polar bear who everyone said was the new face of climate change? We’re going to find him and save him.
If the ice cream company will sponsor us, we’ll name him Klondike. If not, we’ll ask Polar Seltzer, since everyone’s into fizzy water these days. We’ll then freeze the Olympic-sized swimming pool in the backyard of my Los Angeles home and let Klondike, or Polar, live out the rest of his days far, far away from climate change.
2. Extreme Weather = Extreme Exposure
After Hurricane Harvey, my brother Jake drove 24 hours from LA to Houston, saving people from their flooded homes on jet skis. It was incredibly moving, and he made like 16 grand in ad revenue.
Since scientists predict that the frequency of extreme weather events will only increase in 2018, there will be no shortage of opportunities for me and my friends to drop into disaster zones, save victims, and show everyone around the world that love, hope, and monetization are real.
3. From “Rocket Man” to Broadband
I believe with all my heart that we don’t need to impose more sanctions on North Korea. What we need to do is empower them with social media, giving them the tools to connect with global citizens and lift themselves out of poverty, assuming they have the guts to get tazed on camera, or enough money to break the iPhone X for fun.
So, in partnership with VICE News and Verizon Wireless, I’ll be traveling to the DMZ to set up North Korea’s first-ever rogue broadband network.
Lastly, to honor the brave women who have spoken out as part of the #MeToo movement, all women’s leggings on LOGANPAUL.COM/SHOP will be half-off during National Women’s Month this March. Thanks for welcoming me back, and be sure to smash that subscribe button.