Ohhhh I can feel it coming any second now. Your supervisor just sent out an email. mmmMMMMMM. He wanted to let you know there’s an optional OneDrive for business training session next week. MMMmmmmmMMMMM. All of your coworkers are copied on it. AhahahahhhmmmmmmohgodyesohyesYesYESYES.

You’re reading it right now and thinking about drafting a response. Yes you are.

You want to click me so bad. Yes you do. Caress the gentle curvature of these double arrows and tell me you don’t wanna click me. Ohhhhhh yeah. You’re getting hot just thinking about it. I know you are.

Click me you stud. Click me hard. Click me up against the wall. Click me with that big fat mouse of yours. All your coworkers are doing it. I’m the pass around party bottom of this office building and we’re gonna have some fun together. AhhHHHHHHH the replies are rolling in now AhAHAHAHAHMMMMMM.

Oh God yes Linda from HR, tell everyone how excited you are for this training. Let everyone know just how thrilled you are to learn the intricacies of Microsoft OneDrive. Yes!! Tell the whole department how unintuitive you find the system. Oh YES it’s been so hard for you to find your files since the software update. Yes! God YES.

Armena HuuUH from accounting HUH wants to HUH know if she should AHUAHHA sign HUAHUAHAHA up for HUHAH this HUh training. And she HuhH emailed Dave to ask if she should add it to her HAUHAuuuuHHuuuAHAH schedule. And now HUHAH you get to see it too HUA because HUAH she couldn’t resist me.

Ohhhh it’s almost time for my favorite part. Pay very close attention because it’s going to move fast. Here We GOOOOOO!!!!

“DoNt ReSpOnD tO tHiS tHrEaD.”

“YoUr MeSsAgEs ArE gOiNg To EvErYoNe.”

“CaN I bE rEmOvEd FrOm ThIs LiSt.”

“yA’ll We CaN All SeE tHiS.”

Unintentional irony always gets me feeling so HOT and STEAMY and SEXY!!!!!!

Why haven’t you clicked me yet? You should click me. Click me daddy. Aren’t you going to click me?

Good boy. You opened up an email. Now you just need to send it.

Suddenly, I am whispering directly into your ear and breathing so much hot air down your neck. I must be panting like a dog with how much hot air you’re getting. You find it so sexy and pleasurable. Don’t be a tease and save to drafts. That would be very very naughty. And naughty boys get punished. Oh yes they do. I withdraw from your ear after making a big wet smack with my fat lips that sends ASMR tingles down your whole body. I lick your ear a little bit on the way out and that makes you even more turned on.

But the thread is dying down. What should you send? What is there left to say? Listen to me very very carefully. Here’s what you’re going to write.

“Anybody got a good blueberry pie recipe?”

Yes. You’re so funny. Your coworkers are absolutely beside themselves with laughter. They are overtaken with chortles.

It looks like my work here is done and I am feeling WORN OUT. See you tomorrow; I hear Linda’s planning on inviting the entire building to lunch.