It’s time to combine our favorite things: a sappy Hallmark movie and one of the bloodiest battles of the American Civil War!
We’ll give you a chunk of text and it’ll either be a description of a Hallmark Channel original movie or a first-person, handwritten account of the events at Gettysburg in 1863. These two American staples have a lot in common: trials, tribulation, love, even amputation.
Let’s see how many you get right!
“When Frankie and Nate both have a claim to ownership of Sorrento Farm, they are forced to divide the vineyard right down the middle and work the fields alongside each other to bring in the harvest leading up to the Best Wine competition at the annual Autumn Harvest Festival—only this rivalry won't be settled in the fields.”
Answer: Hallmark Channel Original Movie, Autumn in the Vineyard (2016)
“While crossing a Clover Stubble field I was shot in the thigh and soon fell to the ground helpless, unable to rise to my feet, the blood spurting from my wound in a torrent. My regiment passed on and left me, and the rebel line of battle passed over and while lying on the ground in rear of the rebels I received a shot in the right side. Just below and a little back of the right nipple and following the rib that it struck past out at the breast bone… I lay in the Clover field aforesaid until the evening of the next day…”
Answer: Firsthand Account of the Battle of Gettysburg, Private Edward Sloyer, 153rd Pennsylvania
“They came on us about dark yelling like demons with fixed bayonets. We opened on them when they were about 500 yards off but still they came, their officers & colors in advance. We lay behind the wall when they came over. A Rebel officer made at me with a revolver with his colors by his side. I had no pistol, one of our boys run him through the body so saved me. There was a good man killed in that way. They had driven back the dutch Brig on our right and had go behind us, and rebels & Yankees were mixed up generally. But we finally drove them back. I never saw such fighting in my life. It was a regular hand to hand fight. Our Brig had sworn never to turn so they stood but it was a dear stand to same of them. I have 6 men left the Regt. has 60 the Brig. has 300 of 1500.”
Answer: Firsthand Account of the Battle of Gettysburg, 1st Lt. Oscar Ladley of the 75th Ohio
“Ten years ago, Faye and Lydia each opened their own bakeries in Emeryville, Ohio, after a personal and professional fallout during a local Pumpkin Pie contest. Now their children, and co-workers, Casey and Sam, are set to carry on the rivalry as they go head-to-head in the same contest. There's only one problem for these two people who are supposed to hate each other, they start to fall in love.”
Answer: Hallmark Channel Original Movie, Pumpkin Pie Wars (2016)
“I feel very thankful that this was a successful battle; the spirit of the men is so high that many of the poor fellows said today, ‘What is an arm or leg to whipping Lee out of Penn.' I would get on first rate if they would not ask me to write to their wives; that I cannot do without crying, which is not pleasant to either party. I do not mind the sight of blood, have seen limbs taken off and was not sick at all.”
Answer: Firsthand Account of the Battle of Gettysburg, From Nurse Cornelia Oasis Hancock in a letter to her cousin July 7, 1863
“Realizing she has a recurring habit of picking the wrong type of guy, Cassandra Barber turns to relationship expert, Dr. Susie, and her latest self-help book, The Dater’s Handbook to help with her ailing love life. She follows the advice in Dr. Susie’s book to evaluate potential suitors, and then must ultimately choose between reliable George and fun-loving Robert. It’s hard to change old habits and place your faith in the experts, especially when your heart tells you something different.”
Answer: Hallmark Channel Original Movie, Dater’s Handbook (2016) (Meghan Markle is in this one!)
“Cleo Morelli, an aspiring Portland chef, tries to win a food truck competition while the competition tries to win her heart.”
Answer: Hallmark Channel Original Movie, You’re Bacon Me Crazy (2020)
“As we reached the crest a never-to-be-forgotten scene burst upon us. A great basin lay before us full of smoke and fire, and literally swarming with riderless horses and fighting, fleeing and pursuing men. The air was saturated with the sulphurous fumes of battle and was ringing with the shouts and groans of the combatants. The wild cries of charging lines, the rattle of musketry, the booming of artillery and the shrieks of the wounded were the orchestral accompaniments of a scene like very hell itself. … But fascinating as was this terrible scene we had no time to spend upon it. Bloody work was ready for us at our very feet.”
Answer: Firsthand Account of the Battle of Gettysburg, Capt. Porter Farley of 140th New York
Harder than you thought, right? So next time you unwind with a classic Hallmark flick or a book about the most important engagement of the Civil War, think of how small the world really is, and do they have a Hallmark movie about the Civil War?