Revel, the tech company offering shared electric mopeds across Brooklyn and Queens, has taken over New York’s side streets. But many questions remain about the company’s seemingly implausible business model. Their CEO recently released an FAQ to answer the public’s burning questions:
What is Revel?
Revel is the newest, hippest way to commute around Brooklyn and Queens via rideshare electric moped! Our signature black-and-blue mopeds are a legal way for New Yorkers to cruise the boroughs—no experience or common sense required!
How Do I Use Revel?
It’s simple. Download the Revel app, pay a one-time fee of $19, upload a picture of a valid driver’s license (literally anyone’s!) and within 15 minutes you’ll be able to drive any Revel moped alongside unsuspecting motorists who have no idea you’re still figuring out how the throttle works.
Hold Up, 15 Minutes? That's How Long It Takes to Approve Someone Driving an Electric Moped Around New York City?
Usually less than that! We’re working hard to get every New Yorker on a Revel before someone important catches wind of this whole thing.
Who's Approving All These People to Drive Electric Mopeds in New York in Less Than 15 Minutes?
And What Exactly is Steve's Role at Revel?
Woah, slow down. Steve doesn’t work for Revel. He’s just some dude our lawyer suggested we outsource this specific job to for liability purposes.
Do You Think It's a Good Idea to Give So Many People Such Quick Access to Electric Mopeds?
Here at Revel, we believe every Brooklynite and Queenster—be they young, old, clumsy, easily distracted, narcoleptic, legally blind, under the influence, over the hill or simply irresponsible—has an unalienable right to drive mopeds that go 30 mph around their borough with essentially no oversight.
But Didn't Citi Bike Pull Their Entire Fleet of Electric Bikes for Being Too Dangerous? How is an Electric Moped Any Safer?
Citi Bike is for virgins.
OK, But Can You Answer the Part About Safety?
You can follow up with Steve. His email is [email protected]
What's the Deal with Helmets?
Each Revel comes with two helmets in the trunk case. Each helmet comes with the dandruff, grease, sweat and possible lice of whatever disgusting New Yorkers used the moped before you.
You Don't Clean the Helmets?
If we say yes, will that make you feel better?
When Will Revel Mopeds Be Available in Manhattan?
Oh, we’ll get shut down long before that ever happens.
What If I Get in an Accident?
If you aren’t a fast runner, we suggest you abandon the bike and play possum. When the cops show up, just say it’s the other person’s fault. You were just walking when, boom, they hit you with the side of their parked car.
But What If The Accident Really Isn't My Fault?
That’s great. Keep that up for when the cops arrive at the scene. No insurance company would agree to cover a company that approves people to drive electric mopeds in less than 15 minutes, so we really need you to not mention that you were driving without a proper motorbike license.
Finally, Will I Look Cool on a Revel Moped?
Sounds like another great question to run by Steve.