Cars | Points in Case

Tag: Cars

Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console.

If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?

I’m a lover, but that doesn't mean I don’t have boundaries. So I set in place this one simple rule to make sure no one is allowed to disturb me.

Are you fucking with me? Because if you are, I swear to God that, with ZERO hesitation, I will absolutely let you do that.

Bruce: With this very unpleasin' sneezin' and wheezin, she’s revved up like a deuce. Me: Layman’s terms? Bruce: It’s totaled.

Would you look at that… So typical of a Lexus to take up as much room as humanly possible. Total road hog.

There's no way I'm going to pass the anchor-shaped keychain I got from my beach trip.

I’ve been locked in a trunk so many times I’m startin’ to think I’m a set of jumper cables!

And so I asked Conqueror if he was a new Uber driver, and he said unto me, "As a matter of fact, this is my first day driving."

1. Did you shave today? A. No. I possess the miraculous ability to always maintain four-day stubble. B. Yes. It’s expected at the accounting firm.

Do you need one that’s beefy enough to pull a livestock trailer if you decide to offer goat yoga at the staycation glampground you're planning?

Clip a small dumbbell to each middle finger and do three sets of 50 reps while reaching up and out with your arms.