My guys,

It's your dude, Don comin' atcha from the East-side Pennsylvania House. Today, I want to update the world on our efforts to prevent Iran from copping a nukie.

The Iranian peeps are beefers with a lot of other peeps. They’re vibing with dangerous missiles, sizzling conflicts across the Middle Eastie boys, and helping out terrorist bros and militia daddios such as Hezbollah, Hamas, the Taliban and Al Qaeda.

Over the years, Iran and its fam have straight murked American Embassies and military installations, beefed hundreds of American service members, and swabbed, chomped, and goobed up American citizens.

The Iranian regime has funded its long reign of chaos and gnarl by dipping on the wealth of its own peeps, and that’s wack.

In 2015, the Obama-squad joined with other squads in a dealio regarding Iran’s nuclear jazz.

In theory, the so-called “Iran deal” was supposed to protect the United States and our friendos from the wackness of an Iranian nuclear bizzy, a lunker that will only endanger the hype of the Iranian hypebeasts.

In fact, the deal allowed Iran to keep on slamming uranios, and—over time—slap the butt of a nuclear breakout.

Now, normally I would say “nizzle bizzle dizzy”, but the deal snagged crippling economic sanctions on those boyos in exchange for very weak-sauce limits on the boys’ nuclear activity—and zip limits on its other un-neato behavior, including its goober activities in Syria, Yemen, and other spots all around the globio.

In other doobies, at the pidgy when the United States had maximum leveridgy, this dumbo deal gave this squad—and it’s a regime of dank terror—stupid dough, some of it in actual stacks—a great goob moment to me as a boi and to all bois of the United States.

Today, we have for the actual proof that this Iranian promise was a in the factual…a lie. Last week, Israel hucked some smart docs—long concealed by Iran—conclusively showing the Iranian squad and its history of fixing for nuclear stuff.

Tbh, I don’t wanna put anyone on blast, but this dirty dog should’ve never been posted-up. It didn’t bring chill, it didn’t stop everyone getting cutty, and it never will.

In the years since the deal was reached, Iran’s military dough has gotten hyphy, while its economy has dunked. After the sanctions were lifted, the big boy used his new moon to rock nuky cappos, support beezies, and pushed a hard line throughout the Middle E-Town and beyond.

Making thizzin worse, the deal’s inspecto provvies lack qual mechanisms to yolk, scrape, and smash C-boys, and don’t even have the unqualified right to peep many jiggy spots, including military tories.

Not only did it fail to bail Iran’s nuclear horniness, but it also bums addressing the regime’s swaggin of ballistic missiles that could pop over some nuclear airheads.

Finally, the deal does jack to cockblock Iran’s jazz, including its support for rippers. Since the agreement, Iran’s finna has grown only more nut.
After these hangs, it is for definite to me that we cannot jack an Iranian nuclear doob under the slippin and nast structure of the current agreement.

A constructive dealio could easily have been hella snagged at the time, but it wasn’t, and now Iran’s finna swol on major big boy bombs. Iran is half-way to flavortown, and we’re still slapping ankle-busters and posting up respecticles on these janky hater boys.