I‘m not usually an apathetic guy. I care about politics. If you go to my house, you'll see that Fox Business News is always on one of my three TVs, along with the Golf Channel and Playboy TV. So don't accuse me of being one of those uninformed, unmotivated voters when I tell you this: I don't feel like one small donation of 20 million dollars matters in this election cycle.
They always say these things. They say every million counts but I just feel like another face in the crowd among all these millionaire donors. There's too many of us to feel I'm making a real difference. No matter how many times Pete Buttigieg sends an illuminated letter in calligraphy, saying that I could change the world for the price of a small coffee company, I doubt it. I have my butler throw it away. Maybe I'm just cynical. Maybe it hurt me too much when Jeb Bush crashed and burned. It just feels that in this topsy turvy world, my multi-million dollar donations don't matter that much.
I remember when I was so optimistic about democracy, back when I turned eighteen and I made my first donation. My father gave me a small seed loan of 30 million dollars and I gave three to my favorite candidate. I didn't care that three million dollars was just a drop in the bucket. I was so proud to be a part of the democratic process. Even before that, I remember going into shady backrooms with my dad to watch him give dark money. Sometimes, to make me feel like a grown-up, he would let me hand the check to the candidate. But I guess the good old days of America are over. America is no longer a country by the millionaires, for the millionaires. It belongs to the billionaires now.
And even if there was a candidate who could energize a grassroots movement of millionaires, even if they could make us all feel special, even if there was a second coming of Reagan, we'd still have to deal with those billionaires. I feel so powerless every time I think about them that I have to schedule a spa day on a Hawaiian island just to forget and destress. Everyone is worried about Super PACs but these guys have are one-man Super PACs. It's enough to get you shaking in your Guccis.
I mean, Micheal Bloomburg could buy the island I vacation on and still have enough left to buy the presidency. What can my millions do against that? All that hard work that our grandfathers did to get into Harvard and we're still nothing compared to him. It was really disillusioning when he started to run. Plus, I have to see one of his stupid ads every morning when I wake up and watch Alec Baldwin's scene in Glengary Glen Ross. Instead of being ready to close, I'm just sad for the rest of the day.
It brings to mind the quote: “When they came for the middle class, I did nothing because I got mine. When they came for people who were rich enough to own boats, I didn't do anything because hey, more ocean for me. Then by the time they came for us poor multi-millionaires, there was no one left to defend us.”
I just don't know what we could do. I might end up giving money this election but it won't be to someone I really believe in. I'll know that even though they'll claim to be on our side, as soon as they leave our private fundraiser, they're heading towards an even more exclusive one to stab us in the back.
I just want to feel like this is my country again. Maybe we can restart Occupy Wall Street? It shouldn't be hard, we're kinda doing it already. We can have signs that say “The 99.99% has to stick together” because we finally see what they were talking about, now that it affects us. Maybe it's too late. Maybe the millionaires are too divided between Radical Republicans and Moderate Democrats.
Who even cares anymore? All of us in the Illuminati know that the Super-Illuminati fixed the election months ago.