My nature is Divine. My COVID-19 update is Vague.

The complaints of students are a manifestation of negativity. I choose joy; they can choose another school.

I give myself permission to block the bursar’s number and take a nap in a new location every day. Yesterday it was the Center for Spiritual Life; today it will be a massage chair in the library.

Current hardship does not discredit past success, like my decision to pay for massage chairs in the library.

Financial aid is like self-doubt: I should eliminate it.

My energy is as pure as my students’ deposits are mandatory in order to ensure their continued enrollment at the University.

I deserve my on-campus mansion. I am enough for my on-campus mansion. No one can take my on-campus mansion from me.

Happiness is a choice. Firing the adjuncts is a lifestyle.

Like the telethon workers calling recent alumni to ask for donations, I will be relentless.

I will not apologize for talking about the University’s endowment with such tenderness that I could be mistaken for its mother.

I am at peace with using the Class of 2020 commencement ceremony budget to build another gym.

If drama majors can perform without a stage and chemistry students can experiment without a lab, I can write an email telling everyone to “watch this space.”

I may change. Tuition will not.

It is not weird to wear my academic regalia and only my academic regalia and repeat these to myself in the mirror.