How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. Yet how foolish it is to stand too quickly to live, when you get dizzy or have lower back pain.


When I wrote the following pages, I lived alone, in the woods, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond, using only a Roanoke prefab shed and three Home Depot handymen, and earned my living only by the labor of my hands, plus beta testing the Ambiciti app and occasional influence marketing. At present, I have no cable, but an excellent 4G hotspot.


Some have asked what I got to eat. To them I answer: Have you not heard of Trader Joe’s? Others have been curious to learn what portion of my income I devoted to charitable purposes. To them I respond: Next question. Some, who have large families, ask how many poor children I maintained. To them I say: This wasn’t a boarding house; besides, I needed space for my Roomba.


Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. That said, a cold Perrier on a hot night is very refreshing.


Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. Also, if you don’t mind, your HBO GO password too.


All good things are wild and free. Most other things can be acquired cheaply on Craigslist.


I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion. But I’d rather be crowded on a velvet cushion than shop at Costco on a Saturday.


Not till we are completely lost or turned around … do we begin to find ourselves. This is why many men will not ask for directions, but willingly use GPS.


The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Others are quite vocal about it, which is why I complained to Verizon that if I set my DVR to record Game of Thrones and The Strain, I can’t watch CNN.


Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. Still, when exercising I prefer my yoga mat.


The question is not what you look at, but what you see; and not just what you see, but what is on your Netflix “Recently Watched” list.


The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run. Yet it’s also possible to compare prices on Shopzilla.


All men want, not something to do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. Still, most would settle for a zaftig wife and a trust fund.


Things do not change; we change. But try telling that to your IT director the next time she chides you for reusing old passwords.


It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about? Besides, can your neck joint withstand 5,000 times your body weight?


I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. If that doesn’t work, he can post vacation photos on Facebook—fools them every time.


We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us even in our soundest sleep. Provigil and Adderall are also effective.


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