Facebook

Tag: Facebook

I’m alone. There is no other person on Facebook. Every day, I open Facebook. I look for any sign of human life. There is none.

Since I’m no longer fixated on my news feed when we go out, I’ve started taking our six rescue dogs with me to the local coffee shop.

I need a place to get a present for a five-year-old who loves snakes. Any recommendations for something yellow that is slime but not slime?

People are buying your data. What people? Well, maybe not people in general, but definitely the hideous creature you created.

Facebook: Hey, remember me? I’m totally relevant to your demographic! Want to see Dakota’s prom photos from 2006?

This Maya Angelou quote means "It’s 9:00 AM, and Denise is plotting to become the next head of the PTA."

Is this just a money thing? Because I have the $5 birthday checks to prove this is a misguided venture.

Q. What is Facebook? A. It’s a great place for people to connect with others who are also lonely in the suburbs.

I always misplace the Post-it where you jotted down my password, leading me to wildly click around until something happens.

Btw can’t pay you, but will provide you with a new car air freshener. The beavers have a bit of an odor. Not bad, but definitely noticeable.

- Your uncle’s third ex-wife. - Bullies from the 7th grade whom you like to keep tabs on just in case.

Q: How can I tell if someone is trying to deceive me? A: Ever since my yoga teacher introduced me to QAnon I realized the importance of credibility.