The 4 Traffic Lights You’ll Meet on the CAPTCHA “Are You a Robot” Page
The One Attached to a Wire, Flying Over the Intersection: She’s in mid-air without a care in the world. She’s your manic pixie dream light.
Tag: Facebook
Just to Play Devil’s Advocate, What if We Didn’t Defund the Police?
Listen, I know these struggles are just theoretical for me—but that’s why they’re so easy to argue against!
Dogwin’s Law of Internet Discussion
As an online discussion grows longer, eventually someone will reference Clifford the Big Red Dog, effectively ending the discussion.
Routine of a Quarantined Nice Guy
He might be stuck inside but this fella is still capable of making dozens of women uncomfortable, from the comfort of his own home!
Job Posting: Human Anxiety Thermometer for Our Household
Must project Buddha-like calm, possess mixologist-level cocktail skills, and know when to keep the kids out of my “home office."
Five Facebook Pages from High School to Unlike While Wide Awake at 3AM
Undoubtedly a continuation of the Dada movement, "Screaming At The Sun" was so avant-garde, so groundbreaking, and just SO RANDOM xD.
I’m Your White Facebook Friend Who Never Left Their Hometown and I’m Here to Teach You about Conspiracy Theories
Did you know that Bill Gates actually invented racism? It’s something he put in all the vaccines. ALL OF THEM. But no, you probably don’t want to hear that.
Now’s Not the Time to Bring Up the Buzz Lightyear Toy Up My Ass, Right?
Things are changing in our country. But one thing that remains constant, however, is the Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck up my anus.
Shelter-in-Place Humblebrags That Make Facebook More Insufferable Than Ever
Lists of songs to help with the sheltering process: Clearly the goal is to convey the refined but also insider-quirky tastes of the poster.
“Go Ahead and Delete Facebook, But Good Luck Remembering When Your High School Bully’s Birthday Is” by Mark Zuckerberg
Facebook was started so I could have a way to stroke my wires to pics of humanoid-looking girls way out of my league—but don't tell Congress that!
How to Tell Your Barista You Got a Keurig
Pull your wallet out when paying and flash your cute family photos. Have the last one be a photobooth selfie of you and your Keurig.
How to Fake Your Own Death to Avoid a Multi-Level Marketing Consultant
Gather your family and friends in a Wi-Fi-less underground shelter and give them an envelope disclosing which part of the Andes you’ll be hiding in.