Boat and Tote, Zip-Top

Want your work bag to subtly, hoarsely scream “I’d rather be in New England?” Our classic Boat and Tote is a timeless staple that helps satiate your disturbing need to monogram the hell out of everything.

Available in four different sizes with a secure zip-top (because God forbid someone lifts your Moleskine notebooks), we guarantee our tote is hardier than your last pre-nup.

Whether you’re coastal or landlocked, this versatile bag is just as useful for weekend escapes as your weekday dumping ground for company branded swag you steal from the office, mostly out of spite.

NEW COLORWAY! Vodka soda-inspired with white canvas and lemon or lime trim.

The Original Duck Boot

Slick subway floors, slippery cubicle farms and icy streets will be no match for the Original Duck Boot. Imitated far and wide but never equaled, essentially the Cher or Colin Firth of footwear, each boot is a testament to our brand’s legacy of quality.

Handcrafted in Maine by appropriately gruff Portland residents grappling with the worst cases of seasonal depression you’ve ever seen, they can weather even the most severe winters of your discontent.

Classic Flannel Button-Down

What kind of monster doesn’t enjoy flannel? As blue gingham is to spring and summer, flannel is to your fall and winter Tinder photos.

Pumpkin patch photoshoot ready, our trusty flannel shirt helps hide the slight chill that’s really just the shadow of a doubt this day will help mitigate your need for more than your apartment’s 300 feet of personal space. Someday, you tell yourself, you will burn all your IKEA furniture and dance in the flames.

Machine washable because we both know you already have way too much dry cleaning.

Three Season Weight Chinos

Here in New England we heartily disagree that summer bodies are made in the winter. Our three-season chinos are crafted in durable midweight cotton and reinforced at the seams for your inevitable winter weight gain. Ensuring every bulge will remain contained as you knock back stews, pies and seasonal cocktails that give you the fleeting comfort you desperately crave.

Slam back that pumpkin ale, dribble that cranberry sauce and demolish that chocolate roll thanks to our stain resistant and wrinkle-free treatment. Grasp joy with both filthy hands whenever you can.

Shirt Jacket

More substantial than a shirt, yet not quite a jacket, our versatile layer is perfect for spending winter afternoons in your garage.

Whether you’re growing (now legal!) weed with those lamps you assume will pay for themselves, or avoiding your family one tall boy Bud heavy at a time, this trusty essential will serve you through the long, cold months of elected solitude.

Socks

You don’t appreciate thick woolen socks until the sands of time have ravaged your once lofty expectations of adulthood, but no matter your general ambivalence towards anything without a debilitating alcohol content, you have to agree our socks are the fucking best.

Pairs best with our Bean Boots and a stack of boxed wine.

Signature Tartan Dress

Turn up the heat in this slimming yet sensible maxi shirt dress in our signature tartan. It’ll have him thinking, “is she Amish? Is this Rumspringa? What can I teach her?” Play along until he discovers your Instagram rife with Phi Sig luau night #tbt’s and a heavily bearded ex that may or may not still be on parole.

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