Reasons Why This Page Was Left Intentionally Blank
- Moment of silence but for a page. - Total accident and someone is definitely getting fired.
Tag: Books
How to Judge a Book, If Not by Its Cover
Does the book have THE new book smell? Does it have THAT old book smell?
My Metamorphosis into a Monstrous Vermin Went Pretty Great, Actually
“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”
Vrbo Listings for Shakespearean Holiday Venues
Danish Castle with Sea View: Currently not under threat of invasion from Norway!
Famous First Lines of Novels, Updated to Drive More Clicks
It was the best of times. What it also was will shock you!
Imaginary Blurbs on the Cover of My 4th Grade Book Report
“Absolutely gripping—by the time you reach the end, you’ll have no doubt that the main theme in Charlotte’s Web is friendship.”
Pop from “Hop on Pop” Visits the Emergency Room
Sorry, say that again? Your boys were doing what? They were “hopping” on you?
A Quick Note About My Book Deal
I blew my advance on a fully-loaded Bugatti Veyron Linea Viviere (MSRP $2.3 million), as well as a series of bespoke leather shirts.
Weddings Vows from Me, a Spelling Bee Champion, to You, My Former Spelling Bee Opponent
Even if the world was ending, I’d be pococurante, like I was in the third round of the Dayton County Regional Bee when my word was "pococurante."
A Dating Profile of a Gothic Novel’s Love Interest
Children: No! Ok, I do have one ward. Just the one! She's not my actual child, it’s just… It's complicated.
It’s Very Postmodern
Some people might ask, how long after modernism is it? A few hours? A few days?
If Classic Literature Had Ad Breaks
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte – "Reader, I married him. It appears Hinge was the dating app intended to be destroyed."